Teacher VS. Office Lady

What if I don’t get used to this life? What am I going to do? Will I regret for life?

I don’t know

Today I feel terrible teaching my classes, just cause I couldn’t be there for all my students. Before my night class, I was watching my secondary school rehearsal piece and I was annoyed and pissed largely at myself, for not being there for them. Or to give them the much needed advice and guidance for them to go through the rehearsal. And in the end? The rehearsal was less than desired.

It was BAD.

And I want to be there for them, but I have to please his parents by being in the office. And I just feel unhappy. Right now. Must I really have to please them? What about me? Am I truly happy?!

I still live in fear. It’s not good, my mom asked me too many difficult questions, that sometimes I just want to cry. I don’t know how to face my family. I really don’t know how.

Are you sure, that you want to be with me?

Hello august.

One month had passed. And all I can say, it’s a long 30days. I wonder how I can survive for the rest of my life.

Yesterday, I was in a bit of a shock. We walked in and we were looking at something bling and something small. And all I can say, I am scared and nervous all at the same time..

August and it’s going to be my grandfather’s 100days.

Oh gong gong, I do hoped that you are well and comfortable. Watch over us and popo, guide and protect us along the way. We missed you.

Saturday pain

The hardest is today. Saturday, and am I not doing enough? Really not doing enough? To insult my family upbringing is painful. I don’t know what else to do.

I am so tired. I give up so much for this family. And honestly I don’t know how much I can hold on. All I know, is that the string is stretch so thin.

Pls don’t give up just yet, Denise.

Are you embarrassed?

While I am holding you up, who is holding me up?

I was talking to my teacher-IC just awhile ago. And it just hit me, my life is changing. And honestly? I am so unclear of its future.

Casual question like “where am I teaching? And what am I doing?” Struck me pretty hard because in turn I had to answer those questions not just for him to know (out of curiosity) but answering it to myself.

What am I doing? Doing something so foreign and out of my league. It’s difficult really. “Who am I?” Is a question that I can never answer.

Oh baby I wished that we can really do our own things. Without a care of the world, just truly work hard for ourselves. But for you, I conformed.

Monday blues

I am lying by his side, looking at his back, and feeling every pain off his back.

And strangely enough, I had a sudden bout of rendezvous. I remember seeing this very scene years ago, at this very moment in time. And I never knew that, the person I am looking on is you.

I will stand by you, watching over you. Even when the world don’t understand what are you going through. Sleep well, sleep tight and wake up to the old you. The you that I fell in love and continue to love to the end of time.

I will not leave you, because you are my greatest treasure. As I am to you.

PS: 12.35pm, I called my mom. And I couldn’t control my tears. I hoped that we are going through wouldn’t hurt us, baby. I don’t want this to be a reason for another rough patch. We have to be strong.

July || At its Best

It’s been awhile since I visit this page. What a month this July had been, and it’s only the 10th.

Where do I start?

I am with Andrew 24/7, working and being with til night, right back into the bed. Working with him and his family have been tough, I literally have to learn everything from scratch. It’s been stressful but so fulfilling.

Teaching is back on course but, many changes needed. Taking and handling double jobs, trying to a superwoman is not easy. Extreme tiredness is how I describe myself.

July also marks my anniversary with Andrew. And although we didn’t do anything fancy, it was still a special day to remember. We return to our special dinner place to celebrate that quiet day. Simplicity at its best.

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July too, marks the twins birthday. I love them both from the moon and back. One being my amazing boyfriend. And the other being my amazing older brother. Both within a short amount of time, brought me a lot of joy and happiness. And for that, I am forever grateful and happy to have them both. My right and left hand.

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But today marks a whole new 1st. Today marks that we as a couple had met a small and hard obstacle. And today marks out strength in unity and love. Because of today, I know that we need each other so much. You and me, we still have a lifetime of life to go.

Baby, no matter where you are and how you feel. I am always here for you, til the end of time. I love you way to much to leave you. Ever. I will stand by you, no matter what.

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