What do you want??

I did it. I open the talk.

While driving to geylang for our feet reflexology, I popped the question that was burning inside.

I ask about out future together.

And as usual, he shunned and avoid as much as he could.

Am I demanding way too much? All I want is an clear direction to where our lives will go together.

I asked about where we could stay as a couple and asked about his thoughts. I needed to know if it’s just me, fighting a battle alone.

Because I think he thinks everything in the future will be a breeze. And obviously I know better. Nothing will be a breeze. Although, his parents are opening up slowly. I cannot deny that the difference is still clear. I see him so comfortable in my home, lounging with my daddy and brother. And here I am still sitting upright, proper and uptight.

I know what’s in store for me, it’s all too clear. The only problem is he don’t. He will be what he is now, lagging behind. And I can see what his parents meant, in every sense.

No matter what I will be there to help him as much as I can. Even if I need to do a lot more sacrificing than I expect myself back then. I just hoped that everything is worth it. And no matter how hard the journey will take me. I will go on head strong.

In all fairness, he did asked me what I think. And that was after I said so much. He just listen, without a single word. Stony and silent. Eyes on the road, and quiet.

I stated my point, clear and direct. But with some kindness, stating that I am prepared to for whatever, although I want to really come home every single time and be COMFORTABLE.

2014, and the lunar new year is coming in a few days.

Let’s see if whatever I show hand on my boy, is worth every time passed all these years.

Step by step. Bit by bit. Time by time

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January 27, 2014. Inner battle.

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