My birthday month is here. Time fly really fast, and soon my school SYF competition is here.
Life is zooming past fast, and I am stuck thinking hard as well, in my next step. Hardwork I can handle, but exactly what i should be doing now?
We need a change of business fast, to make our future easier to live by. Day by day, we are not making progress. Because he is procrastinating.
And I hate him for that! What’s the point of complaining so much, if he is not doing anything. I swear, sometimes he just don’t care. I am annoyed. But anyhow, I will go on with my inner thoughts and plan of we are going ahead, I guess I am really alone. And I have only myself to blame and push on since I choose this path.
I hoped it’s worth it!
A new year.
A new chapter.
A new start!
This 2015. I wished for all the happiness in the world.
And it’s my last year with my family! Something I will cherish to the end of days.
The mind is not in the right frame to do anything. It’s shutting down and so tired.
I am so tired. So tired. I cry so much, that my lids are so heavy. My body ache and wear down so much that I am falling apart. I lost all senses.
But I am hanging on, at least I am trying .
Everyone thinks I am so lucky. But honestly, I really? No one knows what I am going through. Not even my family. Who can I run to? Who can I talk to?
Everyone can try to empathize but they can never understand. Cause they are not me
Getting the hang of work. But not good enough, I am trying but sometimes my mind and body fail me.
Still have a long way to go. But I can never be good enough.
At least school is back online and I enjoy every single seconds creating and loving these students. For they are my breath, my energy and my life. Their existence makes my life easier, working on the yard.
Keep pushing Denise.
Everyone is ahead of me, when it comes to life. Everyone knows where they are heading, and what is their next chapter. I thought I jumped into the next chapter knowing where my life will be. But in the end, sadly I am just lagging behind. Everyone knows where they are staying. And what is their wedding like. Where and when it would be held. And as for me? I am lost, in tears and stressed.
I don’t think I am cut to have a good life.