This month is like a ‘official break’ to me. I seriously am starting to be afraid of 2010.
Just this morning, I had a rude wake-up call. Everything kept rushing back at me, that I am now ‘jobless’ without a full-time job. It suddenly hit me that I am no longer a full-time teacher at The Ballet and Music Company.
The bus ride back home, I teared a little. Blasting the music into my head, hoping that music can clear my mind. But nothing is helping me at all. All I can do was to keep regretting and wondering. I wondered why at the point of time, I chose to leave.
I was stuck miserably with a pathetic sum, working my ass off teaching 22 classes, with no guarantee that I would have a pay raise. But at least, I had a full-time job. And I can’t leave as and when I like, I had to give a bloody three months notice.
The WHOLE DAMN THREE MONTHS! Three months ago, I thought that I have a plan. But now, I am simply floating about. I hate not to have a back-up plan to fall back on.
Now come December, school holiday is here. Everybody is out on holiday. Who would want to learn how to dance?
I did my calculations all afternoon, and I am getting by. But my favourite thing to do, now becomes a vices. The wake-up call made me realise that I am being a silly person all this while.