Anyways, I am not very sure what’s up with me, BUT I think my life is in some sort of tense moment. I am starting to learn how to ‘please’ a man. In which I have never done it before. Normally I would walk away or simply be that stubborn donkey. But recently I have been fighting at his flares. It is not easy for me to tell him that, cause simply I don’t.
Why bother to have funny conversation that just lead to more disappointment and anger. And just maybe recently things are not looking up for him, and so I might be a ‘punching bag’.
I have seen so many women and wives done it (including my mother), and I swore that I cannot be like that. I have to fight what is right. But I am slowly and surely morphing into them. I asked my mother what is up with men, she say,
“Men simply need to burst and tell the whole world that they are fucking pissed. Sometimes, you just have to let them, simply cause they have more PMS than any woman put together.”
I was amazed at how true that felt to me, I always keep quiet and hope to let him burst out then it will pass. But recently, he claimed that I made it looked like he’s fault. Which he obviously jumped a mile into conclusion, but I let it go and assured him not. Then he said at least I have to learn to appease him and I was in utter shock, but nevertheless I let it go, hug and kiss him on the cheek.
Never mind, men are and foremost have to be wait and serve by women. It had not change since ancient times, and I don’t think it will change for the next few generations.