It is finally over. I am finally letting it all go. I had cried enough, in fact I cried just last night. Sitting at my playground pouring my heart out, is certainly not cool at all. I am never that crazy, or unsure with myself. And you messed me up badly.
What a loser I was.
In the end, you chose. In the end you always chose, make the decision and ultimately unknowingly hurting me in the process of you deciding what to do with your life. You claimed to be killing yourself over it, and hey i always accept any decision made. Cause I never once and will ever force people to do things my way.
If you think that you’re more important. Then that is fine. At least I am free to move on and do the things i want to do.
The funny thing was, on the last statement, you re-emphasize that I have changed, who did I changed for? It is not your fault entirely for I allowed myself to change. Another stupid moment of mine, and a valuable lesson learnt.
Never change oneself for the sake of others, cause in the end he will simply pick on you anyways. Even though you changed, cause the other party claimed that you are too wild for his taste.
Buttered last night was very much-needed. I may looked all over the place last night, with booze and boys, but seriously I am crying and going crazy. I always have to put on a fake front as usual. People who know me well enough, knows that I hate to show my true emotions.
I kept thinking and thinking as usual. My girlfriends were wonderful, supporting me through. I really can’t thank them enough to just be there.
No questions asked, no answers demanded.
Last night was wild period. Imagine me on the podium. LOL, won a bottle of Hennessy and going crazy with the girls, ignoring and blatantly teasing the boys. Heh… A random night that I appreciate a lot.
Seriously, I need time for myself. A holiday to settle the mind and a place to cry for one final time to myself.