Really, sometimes I do miss those moment being next to a person, snuggling, and cuddling. Sometimes I do miss the moments of silence but yet you don’t feel lonely. Sometimes I do miss the moment of being in love, and nothing seems to matter at that moment and time.
I have been recalling bittersweet moments recently. And I don’t know why either. These memories haunts me like the whispering ghost of the Flying Dutchman. Passing through time and time again.
Although my family is love, you know that it’s different. And sleeping with Nana feels different. Sleeping with Twinkle feels different. They are love on a different level.
Why am I so affected recently thinking and remembering. Why am I recalling those bittersweet moments, when I remember the horrible crushing moments straight after.
I used to cry, and I used to be angry. Angry for such a horrid outcome, that I never believe that it would happen to me. Angry that such drama falls upon me. And angry that I actually cared.
To think that I breakdown?!! And my family did not know half of the truths!
Hahaha, come to think of it. I’m such a pussy. Can’t seems to contain my emotions, and yet can’t seems to voice it out!! I’m stuck being alone, with no one that really understands me. With tears streaming down, and aching silent pain of my deep sorrow. But I’m fine being a loner, cause I tend to think a lot, which is good. Cause time heal everything, and life goes on..
Will I ever find “you” back in my arms. Will I ever find “you” back under those sheets. Will I ever find myself opening up again? Will I ever find the same warmth?
I’m not very sure. And I’ve already stop trying.