It feels good to be on stage, dancing, basking in light and having the eyes of the audience on me. On stage, I bare my soul to all to see and understand me as a dancer or person. I want the audience to see my vulnerability, as a girl but yet strong enough. I want everyone to see that I have changed into an older, sometimes emotional but yet hopeless-romantic person.
Dance have always make me look back to my past, and make me think about whatever that happened. Dance make me feel alive and stronger. But since graduation, I have decided to stop dancing simply because I knew I am not as passionate as some. Dance was simply an outlet for me enjoy and forget reality, rather than a profession. Futhermore, back then when I was 20yrs old, I thought I found love after graduation and was moving on into my next chapter in life. But sadly, I was wrong, hahah (: I was also poor (seeing that mummy cut all form of allowance), and I had to face reality that dancing will never pay any bills. So I to stop eventually and work my credibility as a teacher.
But just that Saturday (24th September 2011), I had a time of my life, relieving it as a dancer rather than a teacher. I helped out and performed in NUS; The Next Wave 2011. I was finally back on stage in costume, moving. The feeling was simply indescribable, I felt myself again for those mere 20mins on stage, dancing my life out. I felt so innocent, trying to tell the world the real Denise.
Unmasked and raw, and still finding herself.
Really, so much have happened during the past 3years. Things I do now, I would never ever thought of doing it back then. I would always play it safe, be that good girl that everyone thought I would and forever will be. But I have grown so much, learning to stand up after each and every fall, in tears but nevertheless forced myself. And finally, I think I am ready to take a tiny risk! I can’t confirm anything yet, but maybe especially after watching that damn movie, “Crazy Stupid Love”. I feel so inspired, as told by Peggy who told me I would (:
LOL but now, tell me since when movies and reality ever mix.