Of recent late, I have seen so many, heard so many, and experienced so many 1st hand, that I have come with the realisation of fear. Fear is the one thing, next to trust, that can abolish everything we have build on for years within seconds. And while we can always build it back once it is destroyed, the term “Seeing is believing” is very much true in every form.
I have always very much want to stay positive. But recent turn of events that are happening with my girlfriends make me think twice. And while I do enjoy the sweets moments here and there, I know at the back of head, there lies a nagging voice. The trust have gone a long time ago, and now I am trying to rebuild faith and hope and see things in positive light. Alas, life is never simple, and I always second-guess, gave up too easily.
You see, you can’t expect me to wait out and hope for the best. I can’t do that especially when it is already difficult for me to begin with. You can’t blame me, if I looked like I am moving on just fine. And you can’t decide when you feel like making a decision. I have seen my girlfriends trying to salvage whatever that is left in their relationship, or salvage whatever left in their life. And here we are on the crossroad of just not starting.
We have been through it for so long, and whenever there is new hope that is peeking out, fear have always come and crush, stamp all of it back into the ground.
I guess, I am just tired of this tango.