So much have happened within a weekend. And well, the days just feel unsettled and unfinished. Conclusion are not drawn, even though the turn of event had happened. There is more than what it is on the surface, but I don’t want to deal with it. For now, I will just not think and move on.
Some things are just not meant to change.
I can’t change a person’s perceptive of me, and certainly my close girls have already see how much I have tried. But there is so much I can do, and there is a limit to everything. I can’t please everybody, and all I can do is to try my best.
Yesterday, I have to admit, was my hardest and I thought that I am just a failure. I cannot comprehend what I did wrong and why do I always feel like I am back at square one. I don’t understand how a single word “Love”, be that complicating and how factors outside of just 2 people play a huge part in it. It hurts, when I have finally started to believe, and it hurts because I have also seen and read all those warning signs (a long time ago). Because if I were an maths person, I would say the equation was wrong from the start to the end.
And yet, today is a whirlwind of mixed feelings. Everything, was left hanging, almost like we are right back at the top, of our beginning. With everything said, I need a distraction from now to sometime. Til I am ready to face reality, for a times, I feel I am that disconnected from it. How I looked at life, never ever seems to tally with everyone else.
Am I that different?