Such famous quote from Diane Von Furstenburg, that now becomes my own personal motto in life.
I was watching a dance documentary call “The Ballet School“. And I felt sad (maybe it is not the right vocabulary to use), I felt like something is missing no doubt. I recalled those days in Lasalle College of the Arts, where I had so much life into me. Not because I knew what I was doing, but things didn’t matter, just only the present at that moment. At the point in my life, I did not know if dance will be my career, but I felt every joy and pain it brought me, throughout the 3 years in that very school.
And 4 years later, I still do not know if the path I have chosen is the right one for me, but at least it had not failed me in any way. As it brought me a lot of comfort, whenever I am down, alone and defeated.
I am that of a romanticist.
Last night was interesting, and asking me if I am okay did struck me, in a cord. I didn’t realised that I have changed ever so slightly. And it surprised me that you have noticed, for even I, did not at all. I guess, people do change, not before they wanted it, but time and experience taught them something.
Do you feel strange that the distance have been placed there, I thought about it last night. And boy, it sure do feel funny isn’t it. I think I have developed a habit in placing a distance in a snap of a finger. Hurt for too long, that I never realised that I have developed it til you mentioned it last night. Maybe hurt is too strong of a word, but I guess I am very numb, which is good, but yet strange at the same time.
Being the romanticist that I am, it is always difficult to hide my emotions. But over the 4 years since graduation, I have learnt to hide and mask, til at times I do not know who I am any more. This kind of feeling have started to wear me thin, that I broke down just slightly less that a month ago. My family was alarmed, no doubt. Haha.
But what can I do? Time to peel those mask one layer at the time. (:
Women, we are strong and I am a Ballerina.