I think the latest piece I am creating is about my life. And to tear, while dancing is scary. The raw emotions in the piece jut flow out like a river running its course.
I don’t know if I am sinking in too deep, but I am at a new low of feeling alone. All I can think of right now is to move out ASAP into my little personal space that is not swamped with questions after questions.
I never feel so scared in my entire life till now. Maybe because I have an emotional mother who always hit the raw nerve inside me, speaking her mind and opening to my eyes as to how much I am not there yet in life.
I wished that I am stronger but every time I am just layering on more masks onto myself that I don’t know who I am anymore.
“Longing in silence” just came about by chance while I am searching for a great music for my students’ competition. And I never knew that it can strike me that deep, that soul, that pain.
Longing in silence with that unwritten letter to you, and that unseen pain behind my mask for you, for my life, for my soul. Will you ever see what I see behind the pain I go through everyday. Will you ever understand.
Having the music replaying over and over again in the studio alone, and every movement meant something.
Will you ever get to see my soul?