Monday blues, the week went by in a blur. I am back teaching my students, trying to concentrate, trying to focus and work. But I am zoning out.
But what is wrong?
I am fighting with my inner self. What I want and reality are always at loggerhead, at each other throats. And I realized something. I am destroying myself by contemplating if I should eat or not. And that is just ridiculous. Every day I would stare at food, and think if that should be inside and down my throat. I knew that I need to eat, but yet I stop short after half of the already little rice I asked for when ordering.
So much swimming in my mind, and yet I can’t express.
This is deadly, will I kill myself slowly and quietly?