Reading a book, highly recommended by my dearest Menghooi, by the poolside is amazing. The haze is finally letting up and I am all these time to think. To think about my life and to think about my relationship. To see children laughing and playing, and to see moms sitting around gossiping, I just want all that. All that simplicity.
The weekend have been a great one, I get to enjoy a work-free sunday, meet JK for luncheon, wander about alone. Meet my love for dinners, enjoying his laughter and his hand in mine. It is a good weekend.
It would have been perfect, if not for the recent realization. I have come to terms, to try and be genuinely nice to Clarissa. And I can tell you, it’s fucking hard. I can be professional and courteous. But I can’t seemed to like her. She is annoyance at the finest, and hell as sure she isn’t someone that I would ever try to be friends with. I don’t hate her, but I simply just very much dislike her. Acquaintance at best, but genuine friendship? Impossible.
Been talking to so many of my girlfriends, and everyone asked the same questions, “Are you happier than before”. And I have no answer, absolutely no clear answer for it. Everything I do, have a lot of thought now. Whereas I used to jump on the gun and just feel. I am working on that, for myself. Trying to get that “in-love” feeling rather than “working for love”. I missed the spontaneous dating between us really. I missed all the laid back destinations. I missed the comforting silence.
But we will get there. We will fall right back in love isn’t it.