I think I have to admit some thing, that I don’t dare to admit out loud.
I think I have a drinking problem. I realized when I am seriously upset, I will use alcohol to mask and cover til I am high enough to forget momentarily. Take it from last night, I was angry. Really angry, and to mask my anger I had to drink because I was really ready to walk. And I have to apologize my boy for taking all in, when in the true fact it’s not his fault but I can’t help it.
But I absolutely hate people asking me to do stuff like I owe them a living. What is worse, it’s not as if I have a part of planning. I am a guest. And I shouldn’t be rushing if I am not the organizer/host.
But aside from that sidetracked, I have to admit that it’s time for me to seriously consider and stop drinking. It’s just bad for me anyways, and besides I have to start learning how to expressing my feelings out. Peggy is right, I don’t tell people how I genuinely feel and she is surprised that I admit to being very emotional. I can’t hide anymore.
Thank love, for last night understanding