What a good TGIW, with Xiao Ting in my pool doing “aquarobics” instead swimming because we were busy gossiping. Simple activity, but fulfilling. So much to catch up on in my life, or hers and basically everyone around us as well.
Talking to her always seems to give me some insight in mine, cause she will always give me an outside point of view. And last night, she sure did it once more.
She felt that Andrew and I are so different and in all honesty surprised that we are together even from the start. Maybe because of our extreme personalities and family upbringing that simply set us apart. No doubt Andrew is a fantastic and nice person but she can’t help, but feel like I am there for him more so than he is for me. But i assured her, he is just a quiet man, while I wear mine on both sleeves.
She knows my character pretty well, and knows what I looked for and wants. She felt that this time round I didn’t fully did fall so madly in love. And I guess there is some truth in that too. I didn’t jump and fall into the black hole like I did with James. I was more cautious and plus, we happened in the most surprisingly way. It wasn’t meant to be and yet it did.
And she wonder why love a man that is just the opposite, that sometimes don’t seemed to understand me. And at times, just frustrating. And I reply why not?
I am done trying to find great love, and all I want is savor the current one. Why try searching for something better when the best is probably in front of you?? And plus, both of us are willing to work hard together and try. What more do you genuinely want? Falling in love have always been easy, maintaining that same fiery passion is not. And I am thankful after all the crazy months and turbulence, we still can’t keep ourselves away from each other means a lot. Especially in today’s context.
While I understand many found us queer, mismatched and impossible, I am so glad that few managed to see it in my light. Judgements can always be passed on, because people throw things away so easily. And while I know my current chapter in life is not that fairytale perfect, I am contented to have the boy learning to understand me.
To crawl into his arms, every given chance I had, is already a bliss on its own.