Are we ready?

It have been a long long while since I wrote and pour my soul out into this page. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of excitement and progress. Suddenly everything looked wonderful, and yet we both know there is some underlying meaning.

There have been talks about the future, and I am afraid quite literally. I don’t know if I should be myself or be the person, the family will respond and in hopes and return actually like. I am so afraid that I will disappoint, in him and largely in myself.

Ting and Sharilyn asked the same thing, “Am I ready?” “Am I happy?”. And in all honesty, I have no answer for it. I am simply waiting for the day to come, where I can hear the words and promises that I needed to know. I need to look into his eyes, and I know he wants me just as bad as I do for him, and I need to know that in time to come, he will support me and my happiness as much as I know I will do the same for him.

But alas, all are still in a long distant future if that future will ever be realized.

One thing I know for sure, is that when I see his face, I will smile uncontrollably. Or when I hear his voice, my heart still skipped a beat. My heart still flutter when I am near him, and I still want to play dress up, when I am out with him (or maybe it is just me, being so vain). Sometimes, I tried to push him away, and be a little more “single” and largely independent, but I realized how much I can’t do without his presence and more importantly his support and encouragement.

I understand now, what my mom meant to find my other half. It is that important, to wake up smiling, in which I have been doing so for a long while now. Although, at times, I would wonder about the space/gap where we had a somewhat messy moment, I chose not to pry and move on. Cause I don’t think I can handle it, but I trust and know that my intuition is RIGHT.

Tonight is date night, with him. It had been awhile since we have a date night.

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Just another girl

Always thinking, always wondering. living everyday. She is standing strong for herself, looking forward and always try to be positive. Now, tell her something that she don't already know.

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